I didn't know much about breastfeeding before I was pregnant with
Erin. I think I just thought: every woman will have lots of milk after
having a baby and the baby will drink and everyone will be happy - The
End. Breastfeeding is definitely not that simple. Maybe it's because
more people focus on the actual birth/labor, people don't really tell
you the part about what happens after the baby arrives.
Here's how it went down for me.
Erin arrived August 10, 2013 (birth story here).
I was exhausted and completely overjoyed. After we had moved into the
maternity ward and Erin was all cleaned up, I was ready to breastfeed. I
remember while I was attempting my first real nursing session I was
thinking, "um, where's all the milk?". I just assumed that there would
be a plentiful supply of breast milk once the baby was out. I was wrong.
After giving birth, women have colostrum in their breasts for the baby
to drink. It's still considered milk but it has a different
color/consistency and it lacks in volume (colostrum is actually very
good for your baby). I learned that it takes a few days for your milk to
actually "come in". I remember leaving the hospital wondering if Erin
would have enough to drink, but the nurses reassured me that she would
be fine just drinking the colostrum. Unfortunately, Erin had issues with
jaundice so we had to supplement with formula. I waited and waited for
my milk to come in and finally, the fourth day after giving birth, the
milk finally came in. It was in the middle of the night that I woke up
to a soaked shirt and really really painful, rock solid breasts and a
slight fever. Not.Kool. You have been warned, wear a nursing bra or
you'll have a mess. I never imagined breastfeeding would be painful. It's actually very
painful. The first few weeks your body is adjusting to how much milk
needs to be produced so you'll have some uncomfortably full breasts.
Some women get mastitis, which is an infection in the breast so make
sure to keep your breasts from getting too engorged! Poor Erin couldn't
keep up with all the milk that was coming out. She'd be squirming,
choking and spitting milk out. I had an over-active letdown and it would
not be a pretty sight. I said I wanted to quit just about every other
day (Ken can confirm). I'd say it took a solid 2 weeks for my milk to
adjust and a solid 4 weeks for Erin and I to get a rhythm down. We had
issues with latching on one breast in the beginning, but after seeing a
lactation specialist, Erin was taking milk on both sides. (Lansinoh
nipple cream will become your best friend because your nipples will hate
you in the beginning)
Erin was a slow eater and when I say slow... I mean really
slow. She took her sweet time. It was more of a comfort thing for her
than it being about getting full. One nursing session would take almost
45 minutes and at night (cluster feeding), I'd be nursing for over 2.5
hours with maybe a 15 minute break somewhere. It was hard going out with
her the first few months and if we did go out, she'd be attached to my
boob the whole time. But it all goes up hill from there. Erin got bigger
and started to learn to eat better and faster. Oh, and the pain goes
away. It was during that time I really got to enjoy spending time with
Erin during our nursing sessions. She'd almost always fall asleep
nursing and I loved just sitting there and staring at her. It was
bonding time and I love that we were able to experience it together. I
stopped breastfeeding once Erin turned one. I think both Erin and I
were ready to stop, which turned out great because it made weening so
much easier. I cut down a nursing session every few days and then a few
weeks into it, I completely stopped. Please note though, weening will be
painful for your breasts. They will get engorged once again and will
feel uncomfortable and painful, but in a couple of weeks, all will be
well again. I had my highs and lows when it came to breastfeeding, but
I'm so glad I was able to experience it. (btw, it's so nice not having
to sleep with a bra anymore!)
Here are a few tips:
Massage,
Massage, Massage. Your breasts will get engorged and full quite a few
times. It really helps to massage them or express a little milk. What
really helped me was applying a warm compress and sleeping with it.
See
a Lactation specialist. These specialists are here to help you, so if
you ever run into any issues/questions, go see one. They're so helpful!
Get a nursing pillow.
Breast
milk has magical healing powers. We put breast milk into Erin's eye
whenever she had an eye infection. Her eyes were always better the next
day! Breast milk is very precious, save every job!
Drink
lots of water! I had really dry skin postpartum. Wasn't sure if it was
due to breastfeeding, but I do remember being constantly thirsty and
hungry. So make sure you hydrate and eat lots because breastfeeding
burns calories!
The car was my go-to place for nursing. Once
Erin became aware of her surroundings she hated the nursing cover. She'd
always try to kick at it or grab at it and frankly it made me so hot
(nursing in the summer = not fun). She was so easily distracted by any
noise so it would be so difficult trying to nurse her in the open. I
ended up doing a lot of nursing in the car. I didn't mind it. It kept
her focused on eating with no distractions.
Just
as an FYI, a baby drinking breast milk has a mustard like color poop.
It's some pretty explosive poop too. She'd always leak out to her back.
Fun stuff.
Back when she was somewhat chubby. Knocked out after a meal.
She
didn't fall asleep nursing as she got older. We'd try to make each
other laugh while she was eating. She loved sticking her finger in my
nose.
Already 18 months old! Her second birthday will be here in no time. CRAZY. Not too much has changed with Erin since her 17-month update. Sleep:
Still co-sleeping about 80% of the time. She's been waking up in the
middle of the night these days insisting to play. Don't know why she's
waking up, but she has such a hard time going back to sleep afterwards.
This means no good nights rest for momma.
Eat: Erin has
been eating well lately. She's almost 19 lbs (she's still pretty tiny in
general)! Unfortunately, she got terribly sick and hasn't eaten much in
the last week. Hopefully she starts eating well again and gains back
her weight. Words: She knows how to say "oh no" and "ow" now. It's pretty cute because she always says them in such a dramatic way. Play: She's really into balls, balloons and bubbles right now. Milestones: She has mastered walking backwards!
It's amazing how quickly/early a child develops their personality.
Erin was showing stubbornness at just a few days old! We're seeing more
of her personality as she's getting older. If I had to describe her in
just 5 words, this is what I'd come up with: sensitive, stubborn, goofy,
dependent and cautious.
Separation anxiety started really early
on with her. I'd say around 4-5 months, she was crying bloody murder
every time someone other than mom or dad tried holding her. See below:
Classic Erin.
Everyone
who has met Erin knows the above face very well. I'd often times had
people asking me "What's "wrong" with her?" and I'd be thinking to
myself, "Uh, nothing's wrong with her!" (yelling in my head). I had to
explain to people that Erin was on the sensitive side and she just
needed more transition time than most. She's definitely more of an
introvert. She's the same at almost 18 months. She still
prefers staying by Mom and Dad at all times, we're her security blanket.
She's doesn't choose to play with others, but I think that's pretty
normal at this age. She's not good when people approach her with force
or abruptly take her away without giving her a chance to decide if she
wants to go. She starts crying if someone just slightly pushes her the
wrong way or if we scold her with even just a slightly raised voice.
Babies who crawl too fast scare her. She's an observer and totally
analyzes people. She has already mastered the death stare. Erin
is one stubborn lady. She's a girl who knows what she wants and she'll
be quite bratty about it. She's especially stubborn when it comes to her
food. She's the queen of spitting her food out. Freaking drives me
crazy. I wouldn't say that Erin is a shy kid. She can actually get quite
loud. Once you give her a chance to settle, she'll approach you and
interact with you. She tends to like people who ignore her. She's just a
little cautious when it comes to people and her surroundings. She's
been having nightmare these days and I feel like she's having bad dreams
about people taking her away! If that's true, poor kid. But
my favorite thing about her is how much of a goof ball she is. You can
find her dancing to any beat (she'll dance in public too!). She'll drop
whatever she's doing to squeeze in a little booty shake or arm flap. She
loves it when we tickle her (especially her feet), she loves cleaning
everything (floors, your foot, tables, wall, etc) and she has so much
fun rolling around on the floor acting like a drunk person. She enjoys
teasing us with her food, pretending to give us a bite but would end up
eating it herself. She's constantly playing hide-and-seek with us,
whether we're in the car, eating dinner or when it's bedtime. She loves
it when we put Vaseline on her little bum bum. You'd be surprised at how
much she smiles and laughs. It's the cutest.
Caught her cleaning the ground at Disneyland.
Erin
has such a distinct personality at 18 months. I won't lie and say it
hasn't been a challenge. I can already see future struggles because of
the differences in our personalities. I myself am not a very sensitive
person. It's actually a flaw of mine in some ways. I have a hard time
understanding someone who's more in tune with their feelings. Funny part
is I married a sensitive guy (we've had our share of fights regarding
this topic) and I've got a sensitive daughter as well. I often times
find myself quick to reacting in frustration/anger. I'm sure Erin's just
as frustrated with me as I am with her, she's probably thinking "Why
doesn't my mom understand me?" What's crazy is the fact that she'll be
constantly changing. Who knows what she'll be like when she's 5 years
old, when she's 12? or when she's 18?!? But for now, this is who Erin
is.
A few things that has helped this mama: 1. Make small changes/adjustments.
Making minor adjustments can make all the difference. We remember to
take Mr. Bunny (her lovey) whenever we travel. It keeps her feeling
secure and content when she's in a new environment. We try our best to
accommodate with Erin's nap schedule. A well napped Erin means a
somewhat happy Erin, which means she's just a tad bit less likely to
have a freak out.
2. Nudge, don't be too forceful. I try
not to force her to like or do something she doesn't want to. I think
when she was younger we just assumed that Erin was going through a
phase, but we eventually realized that it was just apart of her
personality. It's tough because everyone around her wants to love her,
but she's just not for that. I'm sure Ken and I have traumatized her
many times by just thrusting her on someone and left her wailing,
wondering why on earth we would do that to her. Sometimes I just sit
with Erin and whisper to her that she'll be OK and that mom isn't going
anywhere. She may not understand everything I'm telling her, but I think
she's getting there. 3. Be Patient and Be Gentle. I
always thought I was a patient person. I don't think I am anymore or
maybe its because I'm dealing with a child. I try not to get frustrated
with her when she refuses to interact with other people or when she
refuses to leave my side or when she won't let me eat. I noticed I've
raised my voice more often than I need to. I've been telling her to "go
away" often and I'm sure that upsets her (she runs off crying - how mean
am I right?). Erin has to do things in her own pace and I just have to
keep reminding myself about that. React with love, not anger.
I wish people could see Erin the way Ken and I see her. She's all sorts of sweet and sass. =)
Penelope Olivia Hsu (Grandchild no. 11) will be here soon! I spent
Saturday hosting a baby shower for my sister. Went with a black/white
and gold color pallet, with hints of pinks. All DIY stuff to keep it
simple. Everything turned out great except a little mishap with the "P"
balloon. Freaking P. Flower favors
